Friday, June 5, 2009

Project 365

At the end of 2008, I happened upon this scrapbooking idea of taking a picture a day to create a family album. It was called Project 365 from Becky Higgins. I love to scrap book and have done so in the past but like many, I am very far behind. For all my boys I did a Creative Memories Baby Book of their first year. I had not gotten around to doing Brock's. Now I have the task of not recording a Year but a Life. One of the things that makes it easier is that two sweet friends from our old neighborhood created a book with the pages already decorated so all I have to do is add the pictures. One of them is a Creative Memories consultant, and she knew I had not started Brock's book yet. This was such a precious gift to me. What a provision!

So having not scrapbooked in years, I happened upon this idea a few days before it went on sale on Jan. 1, 2009. Little did I know how hip I was...all the kits sold out in 20 minutes, (but not before I got one for me and one for a friend!) The idea behind the kit is that you take a picture a day to capture the life between the big events. The pages are laid-out with a place for a week of pictures and spaces to journal about each picture of the day.

I loved the idea as I felt the Lord showing me in the horror of this past year how we still have had (and will have) such sweet times as a family. He taught me how to appreciate the everyday little things. Some days it was just my kids' smile that kept me going that day. When I started Project 365 at the beginning of 2009, I just wanted to remind us of the precious things of our life when we look back instead of just thinking of all the grief-filled moments. Little did I know that our book, when complete at the end of 2009, will have pictures of a new member of our family. I cry everytime I think of that. God is so good. To think He knew before I started the book what the pages would hold. When I started I could not bear the thought of doing a family album without Brock. So I decided that I would include a Remember When photo of him. I would use pictures that had been taken on that day in the past.

It is a strange thing but lately I have found myself in a deep place of grief over Brock. I have grieved little things again much like in the beginning. One of those things is photos of our family, the ones where it is all of us including Brock; the ones where I look and think, "THAT is my family!"...not the ones with just three boys. The ones with three boys still look like someone is missing. Well, with the addition of this child, our family portrait will change once again. The new pictures will not have Brock and that hurts so bad. I guess what I am grieving is that before the addition of this child, I could go back and show someone a complete picture of my family. Now that too will be incomplete, for it will not include this precious one I am carrying. I know this may seem like a little thing, and I have kind of beat myself up for feeling this way, but I have realized that in grief...everything is real. It is important for me to acknowledge it rather than let it sit there and fester. It will come out, one way or the other. Oh, I can't wait to get to Heaven where the picture will be complete. There will be no need for a photo because we will all be together forever!

So...I am overwhelmed when I think that God knew I would feel this way and knew when I started this family ablum that an album where there would be pictures of all of us would be important to me. He is so sweet and cares so deeply for me that He takes care of the smallest of desires.

This past week I got together with some friends and we worked on our books. I had not updated the album with the pictures I had taken since March. I was overwhelmed when I came to April 3rd and put in the picture of Drew and Me with the positive pregnancy test. This was the first time that I had pictured and journaled in the album about this baby. There it is. An album with all of us in pictures.
Here are a few of my Pictures of the Day:

Love Hard!
On this day, 16 years of marriage. On our 2nd anniversary we took a pregnancy test to learn that we were expecting our first child. And on our 16th anniversary we took a test to confirm we were expecting our 5th child. (Notice the test sticking out of Drew's pocket)

Live Hard!
We called this a 'redneck hot tub.' One of the first really hot days of Spring 2007 and the boys turned playing with the water hose into this.

My brother in law gave us a kite after Brock died. We had not had a chance to fly it. The other day we had a windy day so we headed for the park. All the boys were able to get it flying. There is something uplifting about flying a kite.
I will lift my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2.

Strawberry Picking! They were delicious. We ate, cooked and put up strawberries for days. On this day, one picture could not capture it. So in my book, I did a little Photoshop magic and put them together like this. {For those of you wondering about just one picture a day}

Baseball, Baseball, Baseball. All three boys played this spring. It was busy but fun. Asa and Barrett are finished with Recreation season. Mason has a few more weeks of Travel Ball. Go Team!

Runnin' with Jesus!
Remember When...
June 2, 2007. Brock broke his arm! Once all the screaming and the Doctors were done, I think he was a bit proud of his cast. So precious!!

This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24.


MrsL said...

Love! The post, the thoughts, and YOU.

Tonya said...

I just wanted to congratulate you and your family on your pregnancy! I live in Charlotte and am friends of Chris and Krissie and have been keeping up with your family through your blog and through the Bauers. Your posts are an inspiration! Congrats again!! I'm very happy for you!

Tonya Colville

Lacey said...

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about Brockie today and really missing him and you guys.
love you guys!

gailcwade2000 said...
Nita, first let me say how much I have enjoyed your blog. I have never seen God work so clearly in a life as He has in your life. Your writing is beautiful as is your family. I don't know this Ashley other than she was in law school with Ame's husband. Read some of her blog and see how you might could reach out to her. Congratulations on your new baby. I am so happy for all of you!!!

Paige Stanfield said...

Hey Nita! Hope you're doing okay today - I'm praying for you!