On Wednesday, we loaded our oldest son, Asa, up on my parents' motorhome for a trip of a lifetime. He is traveling to North Dakota to go hunting and fishing with his Daddy Curt and Mema. While we always hoped Asa would get a chance to go one year, we were unaware this would be the year until Tuesday. Just when we needed, God provided at such a time. Asa adores my parents. Since Asa himself is an "outdoorsman," he admires his Daddy Curt so much. They are cut from the same cloth.
Asa is a wonderful kid. He has never given us too much trouble. He is very obedient. He has always been a deep thinker. He accepted Christ at the tender age of 5 and has always had a heart for other people knowing Christ. When he was 10, he led a boy to Christ on the playground. Recently Asa has really grown in making his faith his own. He is reading his bible proactively and is even doing a bible study with a group of peers, as they were challenged by the Harris Brothers' book, Do Hard Things. (Great book for pre and teens). Bottom line, he is a really good kid.
But this Fall has been extremely difficult for Asa. He grew up in a moment. He called 911 for me as I tried to resuscitate Brock. He then had enough maturity of his own to call his Dad, Drew, at the office. He has grieved, however. Somewhere along the way, he tried to be strong like the oldest should be. This Fall, the magnitude of the grief had to come out. Asa is also at the time of life that is not easy. As my Mom reminded me, "not everyone comes through 12 and 13 easily". For whatever reason, Brock's death and Asa's coming of age coincided at the same time. God knows and he will not waste this hurt in Asa's life. Please join us in praying for the trip to be a time of emotional healing for Asa.
The other day as Asa was about to leave, I felt like I needed to debrief my Daddy on all the things we had been helping Asa deal with lately. My Daddy gently interrupted and said "Sweetie, all I need to know is that he is my 'Grandboy,' and I love him. We are going to have a good time."
This morning I found myself at home alone. Since we homeschool, this is rare. On Fridays the boys go to their hybrid school to take classes. It was usually my time to spend with Brock. Today Drew had appointments out all day, so here I am. With many things on my To Do list, I decided to go to my chair and just sit with the Lord. My time with Him is so important as there are many thoughts to give Him and many cares to lay at His feet. When I am with Him, I am reminded that I am His. He reminds how He loves me no matter how good or bad my behavior has been. He reminds me of His faithfulness in my life. He reminds me that He thinks I am a wonderful. I am also reminded He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow despite my feelings. He also reminds me of His promise of Heaven through Jesus Christ where I will hold my Brockie again. Just like Asa will be reminded during this sweet time of how much he is loved, I thank God for His unconditional love.
How good to spend some extended time with the Father!