Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Birthday Wishes


He would have been 5 today. One Thursday afternoon, while we were having a family time of talking about Brock, Mason said,

"I just wish God would send us a picture each year on his birthday so we could see what he looks like."

I thought the same thing this morning as I looked through some old pictures. In talking with older moms that had young children die, they told me they always see their child just at the age they were when they died. For the most part I do too...I see Brockie as that "almost 3 year old" precious boy that he was.

Around the time of his birthday, I tend to let myself think, "What would he be like?!" Sometimes it feels scary as it begins to feel like someone I don't know. It begins to feel like I don't know who he is or what he would be like. I look around at other 5 year olds to remind myself what kids look like or talk like around that age.

The hardest part about thinking of Brock being 5 is that was the age Barrett was when Brock died. It is hard to imagine, so for the most part, I just don't. I just see him as "almost 3."
This morning in my looking for pictures, I wished I could find one of him with his hand out showing me all five of his fingers on one hand. That is one of my favorite things about 5 year olds; all fingers up on one hand. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I did come across pictures of him from his first birthday...


and his second birthday...


I also came across a picture that none of us could remember seeing.


I guess that was our gift of some sort. I love coming across "new" pictures.

Today we celebrate him. We celebrate the day God gave him to us. We thank God for the almost 3 years we got with him.

As we were watching Brock's YouTube "Bike Ride" today with a dear friend, although I have seen it dozens of times, I was pleasantly surprised and reminded of a sweet moment that now seems comforting as well as...sad. I ask Brock how old he is. In spite of clearly being almost 3, he confidently pronounces, "I FIVE!"

...and today, he would've been!


So today I guess I got my wish after all. Isn't that just like God to give me more than I imagined?! I wanted to see a picture, and he gave me Brock's voice.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

9 comments:

{ jamie } said...

Thinking of you & praying for you all today. ((hugs))

Henley on the Horn said...

You've been on my heart in the weeks leading up to this day. Hugs Nita & Drew. We love you all.

Paige Stanfield said...

Such sweet pictures! I love the way Brock has his hand on Barrett's shoulder in the new picture that you found. You guys are in my prayers.

thewades5 said...

Love you more than you know!

alix said...

am now crying...love you Nita

Roberta Meadows said...

Woke up yesterday thinking of Brockie and fell asleep thinking of him. Sang a Happy Birthday to him in my heart. Thanks for sharing all of the precious pictures. Love all of you!!!

MrsL said...

precious

Victoria said...

Praying for you ... love all the pictures you posted.

Paige Stanfield said...

Hey Nita - I just got back from driving John and Gib to a friend's house and we were caught in a heavy downpour - and Gib asked me, "Mom, have you prayed for Miss Nita?" I had told them before that you had mentioned that rainy days were hard on you, and he remembered it. So we prayed for you as we were driving, of course. I love it when God uses a child to remind us to lift up others! :-)