Thank you so much for your prayers, thoughts, cards, hugs, emails and pictures. They were precious reminders from the Lord of how much He cares for us.
Our day was up and down. I must have asked the Lord a thousand times why couldn't Brock just be here for us to celebrate him here. I longed several times for God to just come and take us all to Heaven so that we could all be together. Thinking of Brock turning 4 was not comforting. Mason said that thought made him feel like Brock was becoming someone he did not know. We assured him that when he finally sees Brock again, he will fully know him. Oh Lord, this journey is so hard. Thank You we have You to cling to.
So, we tried to focus our celebration on the day Brock came into our lives. God was so sweet to bring us great memories all day long. Our day was sprinkled with joy as we received pictures of your balloon releases. We went to the grave side as a family around 2:30 and lost track of time. It was a time of tears and laughs as we watched our balloons dodge the tree limbs as they tip-toed into the crystal blue, cloudless sky. We each talked about our favorite thing we liked about Brock.
Here's what we said, Barrett...."He was my friend and was always there to play with", Mason..."there was always life and noise when Brock was around, there was never a dull moment, he brought so much happiness to our lives, I also liked the way he touched so many lives in his short life, more than I have touched in all my life," Asa..."It was a privilege to be his big brother because everybody thought he was so cute, I liked his crooked teeth when he smiled", Drew...."I liked his laugh and smile and the way he would run, his energy, his cadence", Me...."I liked his rough little voice, his own language and his hugs that wrapped around my neck and his head on my shoulder."
We sang Happy Birthday and God our Father (we thank you-for our little Brockie). Then, we let our balloons go. This made us laugh and cry.
The moon was already out. We watched Asa's balloon until it seemed as if it were higher than the moon. We imagined a closet full of balloons where Jesus keeps all the balloons for the children. Asa said he found himself imagining Brock on a play ground and Jesus giving him a balloon and then Brock getting to share all the others that were released with all the other children in Heaven. We don't know if there are balloons in Heaven, but we do know that it is far better than we could even imagine or hope.
We ended our time with each of us praying and thanking God for the gift of Brock in our life.
On our way home I thought...what a beautiful sky the Lord painted for us to release balloons into. Then when we arrived home and received all your photos on the computer, we were so overwhelmed. They are beautiful. Such a kiss from the Lord. I am going to try really hard tomorrow to get them up. If you haven't yet sent yours, you can still do so. I'll just add them as they come in. God used this little idea to bless us in huge ways. Again, more than we could have even imagined.
We thank you. Once again you allowed the Lord to use you to help us through a really sad, bittersweet day. God Bless you. We love you.
When we finished our time praying at the cemetery, Barrett said, "Mama, while you were praying I lifted my head up and looked at the sky and I saw Jesus holding Brock's hand and leading him. "
We all were speechless. Jesus loves the little children.